Dylan passed away just like I hoped - peacefully and pain free, but that didn't mean our pain was gone - it didn't mean MY pain was gone.
My pain lingered; it STILL lingers.
After Dylan passed, it came time to prepare for what was next. We knew we wanted to bury him, but it was all next steps from there. Thankfully my mom was a huge help with this whole process.
Dylan's middle name is after my very first grandpa that passed away. My grandma said that Dylan could be buried with my grandpa, but that cemetery is very large, and I just wanted to look into other options.
There is a cemetery fairly close to our home, and it is much smaller. My parents went to go find a plot for Dylan at the cemetery that was very easy to find when we go visit Dylan, which is what I wanted.
The Monday after Dylan passed on November 20, Dylan was buried. Jon and I could not work ourselves up to go to the burial. Our parents went, my sister and niece went, and Jon's sister and her son went. I'm not sure of everything that happened at the cemetery that day, and I think for my emotional sake, it's best if I don't think about it too much.
A couple days later on November 22, we had a grave side memorial service for Dylan. Between Jon and me, I am the one with more family; Jon's family really just extends to his immediate family. Those who attended were my aunts and uncles, some cousins, all of our super close friends, and our family friends that are like extended family to us. Pastor Jeremy read scripture during the memorial for us, and I had my cousin Lindsey read a letter that I wrote.
After the letter was read, anyone who had flowers or items they wanted to lay at Dylan's grave could go and lay those down. Jon, myself, and our son Rhett laid down flowers first, then the grandparents, and my niece laid down a stuffed sloth (her favorite animal) for Dylan. Pastor Jeremy then prayed over us. Lindsey purchased a bunch of balloons, and we passed around markers and wrote messages to Dylan in heaven. All at once we let go of our balloons.
I really was expecting this to be one of the most emotional days, but it was the opposite. It was sad but beautiful at the same time. Knowing our boy was healed and in a better place was the assurance that I needed.
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